Impact of Marrying Foreigners:A Personal Experience

Whenever i am blog hopping,80% of the blogs i will be spotting will be by a Filipina married to a foreigner. WOW!!! I have this great feeling of excitement that ,"hey there are sooo many of us!" There will be more and more since the impact of internet on interracial marriages is sooo dramatic, widespread and powerful.

When i was a little girl whenever i heared a Filipina married to a foreigner(Australian,European,North American,etc...) i got sooo excited. My mom originally is from Negros Oriental and my dad from the Cebu Province. Whenever we went to these places --- Cebu, Dumaguete, Tanjay, Bais, etc... etc... usually the bigger houses on the community are owned by Filipinas married to foreigners. For example, The La Hacienda Hotel in Tanjay, Negros Oriental is owned by a Filipina married to a British --- a Filipina who once was a very poor girl whose parents can't even afford a small lot now owns a huge hacienda. Whether we accept it or not, that was possible because of her marriage to a British.

Now, let us be honest here : why do we marry foreigners? Okay, of course, LOVE,LOVE,LOVE. What a sweetest thing in the world! But is it just it? I mean, come on, look at our country! Look at that old man in the airport who can hardly even walk who got a 20 year old wife and he's more than 80! Come on, let us be honest!

Of course, there are really lucky ones who married because of true love, but honestly, there are others who married because they saw it as the only way out in a country where extreme poverty is prevalent. Take for example: I'd known a native woman(a B'laan tribe) who can't even speak a word of English and married to an English. Now, okay, you tell me action speaks louder than words, but oh, dear, can you live in a country very much different from yours with a person whom you can't even understand the word he speaks???? Okay, of course, she had survived. Little by little she learnt. And isn't that amazing how strong our coping mechanism is? We need to because there is no real hope for our country! For her, better to marry a foreigner than being a domestic helper (sometimes the working agency will trick you and only get your placement fee!) or being a wife to a Filipino who loves cockfighting and treats his roosters as more valuable than his wife! (Ah, i know, i know, i am just being real here, i knew lots of Filipino husbands who love cockfighting! Asked Manny Paquiao if he loves his fighting cocks more than Jinky? Probably? Ah, Sorry i am out of the topic now!!!!).

There is big impact on marrying a foreigner. Personally, it is a great impact. Okay, i had finished my education and probably would land a good job and probably had married any of my former Filipino boyfriends. But i might not got the chance to go to Paris or any first class travel destinations. Okay, we might got the chance to go but not when we are 27 or 28 0r 30 years old? probably when we will be 50 or 60? or probably not at all? I don't know, i am just only guessing. And i am only speaking in general.

But anyway, I think God had answered my mother's prayer that i will marry a foreigner !(I knew she always looked happy whenever i broke up with my former Flipino boyfriends!). It was a long-time dream of my mom for me to marry a White Guy. I really understand why. The rate of unemployment in the Philippines is too high. With one available job there might be 2000 applicants, and don't apply if you got no back-up!!! And with a population that is surging so high every day, resources are not enough! My mom also knew that by me marrying a foreigner the chances of having a good, comfortable life is higher than being married to a fellow Filipino.(Now, Filipino guys don't get mad at me!!!! I am only telling the truth!). I always believe that MOTHERS KNOW BEST! So, as a good daughter, i heeded my mom's advice. But really, it was the best choice i made in my life!

I still believe this is FATE. I still believe that God has plans to each one of us. My personal experience had been truly amazing and the impact is quite impressive. For more of my personal experience, you can read my Cinderella Story.

Probably the greatest impact i can give in marrying my wonderful, white husband? The mixed kids that we have. The "mestizo" children are the greatest impacts of all! And if you ask me if i married my husband because of LOVE? Big YES. And did i marry him for me to have a good, secured future? BIG, BIG YES! But most of all, because of love!

Mr. and Mrs. Queen at 23 years

April 20,2008. The 23rd Wedding Anniversary of a lovely couple that we had been very close in Scotland --- Derek and Aniceta Queen. They are Prisco's primary godparents. We are so blessed to be with them during their wedding anniversary this year. They are very good people and we love them. They are always a call a way when we need them. They are a family to us. A day after i arrived in Scotland i went to the place where Ate Annie works, and upon seeing me, she got very excited that she actually stumbled a little bit in that little step in her workplace !hehehe! All because of her excitement that i am here in Scotland.
To you, lovely couple --- Cheers to that undying love and wishing your family circle good health, good friends and good fortune!
And, by the way, i love your Butterfly cake with flower muffins surrounding it. Great choice! Butterflies are real goodluck and we are wishing you the same.

A-Days,B-Days and C-Days

ABC's may sound like very basic things but they are also very important. Call us corny, lame, cheesy, tiring, uncool or whatever but me and my husband's secret for keeping our relationship on the go is remembering special occasions and celebrating them as much as we can. Or if we could not be physically together on that date, we celebrate them on the date that is more favorable, although it is a must that we greet each other on that particular day.

Anniversary days are very important and so are Birthdays and Commitment Days(the day we commit ourselves with each other even before we got married! i know it sounds corny!). V-Days(Valentine's Days)...uhmmm...not really that much because for us everyday is a heart's day and that each day is a courting day(uhmm,i know it sounds corny again!).

We got married 19th of October and so, every 19th of the month is a special day . Same is true with Commitment Days and the date of our birthdays.

Well, since today is 19th of February, today is an A-Day. We already greeted each other. It might be corny or tiring for some, but for us it is sweet,passionate,real and one of our secrets to keep our relationship on the go. I love you,my Scotty! God bless our relationship! God bless our family!

Cinderella Story

Contestants in the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant talk about POVERTY as if it is an easy subject. But i don't think they really realize what it's all about as they never become one of the poorest people in the world. Rich people born in a silver spoon like the celebrity socialites Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie pretend to live a simple life in a television show but they really couldn't fathom what's simple life really is .

But Cinderella knows what poverty is all about. She understands the plight of the masses as she is one of them. But she also understands the business of the rich as she'd become one of them as well. Cinderella knows the transition from being a "have-not" to a "have". She could shop in a very expensive boutique but can also appreciate the beauty of a street market. She can order a lavish room service in a 5 or 6 star hotel but can also eat in a quaint food stall. Such is our Cinderella here.

She is born in the Philippines with no house, no car, not enough clothes and not enough food in a day. But she survived and had realized that actually in order to live, you don't need anything! What she got is guts to live & a steering determination to persevere in this "unequal society". She will walk to school with shoes not her right size as those shoes are just being handed down from her fortunate relatives. She could not pass her school requirements on time 'cos her parents will buy food first than other things extra. She even experienced one Christmas with no food on the table. On an exchanging gift activity for Christmas Party during her elementary school years, she would end up getting her own parcel as her "manita" would never want her gifts as the gifts of her well-to-do classmates were better than hers. She just went home & cried. So,at an early age she started to find work to support her studies and help her family, especially her little siblings. She became a laundry woman, a saleslady, a nanny, a tutor, a gardener, a housemaid, a library assistant, to name a few. If not with the public education and a scholarship grant from the government, it would be impossible for her to finish her education. Alas, after all the hard work, frugality & perseverance, she did finish her bachelor's degree with flying colors.

But she's always a happy person. She's always ready to lend a hand. The most important of all, she's always contented with what she had, counting her blessings , appreciating them no matter how minute they are.

Cinderella is always like that. Maybe that's why God has been good to her. But our story couldn't be complete without the arrival of a Prince, a Prince whom the fairy God mother had sent to rescue Cinderella from the harshness of life. Unlike any well-to-do gentlemen of today, this Prince from Canada is a very simple man. Perhaps,he,too never realized what real poverty is, not until he arrived in the Philippines. This Prince is a world traveler, a man of science and a lover of nature. He'd been around the world taking glances to many beautiful women, but none of them had captured his heart. There must be a mystery why a simple Cinderella captivated the heart of this Northen Prince. Yes, the mystery of LOVE. At first Cinderella was hesitant for his offer of affection, or does she'd just been playing hard to get? But it's never difficult to love a Prince, especially this handsome, down-to-earth Canadian Prince. Can Cinderella resists his charms? his magical embrace? I don't think so...

With that first meeting of Cinderella & the Prince, the Prince on returning to his kingdom would never fail to call her everyday(no wonder the consul that interviewed Cinderella in the Prince's Embassy was shocked by the 1,200 pounds = 120,000 pesos phone bill every month! Visa approved right away!). Evidently, the Prince is so inlove with her. Perhaps,because she got this sense of humor that would make the Prince laugh. Perhaps, because of her silliness and natural sexiness that for him is intriguing. Or perhaps because Cinderella taught him the other side of life that the Prince and other wealthy people had never experienced. Or perhaps,all of it!

Not long, Cinderella & the Prince got married. Their love for each other made them a very happy couple, if not the happiest couple in the world. Now, Cinderella knows what it is like to live like a Princess. But a special portion of her heart will be empathizing with the poor, the needy, the orphaned, the childless, the widowed, and all the other victims of poverty and abuse.

And just like any other fairytale stories, Cinderella & the Prince live happily ever after.